- May 5, 2022
- 3 min read

Follow up PET scan

6 weeks after completing chemo I had a repeat scan. The hospital, that once was scary, big, and unfamiliar was second nature to me. I now knew they’d start an IV, inject the glucose recipe, sit for 45 minutes, then finally the scan. I worked the night before and went from work to the hospital. I was so tired, but this milestone was done.

You’ve got new test results

The scan on the left shows all the areas I had cancer when I was first diagnosed. Basically everywhere in my upper body and groin. It’s incredible to look at the scan on the right. My oncologist declared me in remission!! The thing I was most grateful for: hearing I wouldn’t have to do chemo again any time soon. I’m not sure how mentally and physically I could have handled more.

I was able to have surgery to repair my 9 month old torn meniscus. The recovery was very difficult and long. Being on crutches for 8 weeks ranked right up there with the powerlessness of being told I had cancer.

I had my first ‘3 month follow up’ appointment with oncology in March, 2022. I had no idea how traumatized I still was going to an appointment. I was nearly frozen in fear unable to ask questions. I still was not feeling mentally and physically where I was pre-chemo. The doctor was surprised to hear me say that. He thought I should feel much better by then. He is a very kind soul and really wanted to set my mind at ease. I’m not a fan of the monitoring plan we have in place: I monitor for symptoms or enlarged nodes and report them. I was never that symptomatic to begin with. You want to trust *my* judgment on this?? He said he’d do a CT at any point to give me peace of mind. I will let him know when I need that peace of mind.

The anxiety stuck with me hardcore the last 6 months. I tried Buspar. Didn’t seem to help. What helped the most to settle myself and get me through the horrible days was journaling in prayer books. God was my rock. He still is. Always will be.

Somewhere in the last 6 weeks the anxiety has dissipated. Again, I don’t know how it happened. It came on crazy and left crazy. The time in between though, just completely awful. My heart goes out to people that suffer through anxiety.

I check my lymph nodes near my neck and behind my ear when I think of it. I’m not obsessive about it. Maybe once a week I think of it. I feel like the cancer will return. I know if it comes back within 2 years the prognosis is worse. But I’m not dwelling on it. Whatever happens, happens.

Finally, 6 months after completing chemotherapy, I feel back to normal. Normal has never felt so good. So so good. I took so much for granted regarding my health, my mental health, my abilities, etc. What a year of growth for me.

Its coming up on one year May 11th. I’m grateful I was able to go through everything last year. I became wiser, learned better priorities, lesser priorities, setting boundaries, giving myself grace, being kind to others, keeping my mouth shut more, listening more, soaking up the littlest accomplishments and beauties in this world.

I have returned to my ‘dream job’ and I’m thankful for the many blessings in my life.